This last week, I found myself in a position of going off to work for a short time with another organisation. It was to be a temporary arrangement for 2 days of my working week, but even after the very first day, I found myself in a position just simply not wanting to go back. I found the workplace very noisy and the work quite tedious. The people around me were just not 'my people'. I didn't know what to do towards the end of the day, and I didn't even know who I was meant to be reporting to.... I spoke with my real / usual manager last Friday and she was supportive of my not returning to the workplace, but I am still feeling a bit guilty about bailing on the whole thing. It is such an odd season we are in, here in Melbourne. We are all lockdown fatigued, I have been somewhat stressed with changes in my usual work routine over many weeks now, and I think I have forgotten what normal life really looks like. A week and weekend at home alone is normal for me now, and I know what I need to do to keep myself healthy and happening, and how I need to get through it.
My whole emotional reaction to that one shift got me thinking, though. It was maybe not the work itself that made me move to a point of resentment and dread, but rather the feeling of being disconnected; of just having to just go through the motions during the day, and my heart just shut down. We are living in a very individualised and isolating world and I guess I also felt vulnerable in that space - where communication tends to lessen and then mistakes are inevitably made. In my 'real job' I was also working pretty much on my own all day Friday, but when I picked up the phone to my manager - and she called me back, her side comment was, "I have had a few other annoying phone calls that I don't want to deal with, but I always have time for you." In this relationship, I feel valued and I belong. My work (whatever it is) in this context has meaning, purpose and direction. My heart can come alive a little.
My current manager is pretty switched on and I am grateful for her. In a more normal season, she will be intentional about connecting with people on a regular basis - even if its just a knock on the door and a brief hello or conversation in the passageway once a week. She also knows who works well and who doesn't quite toe the line. This history makes the conversation I had on Friday so much easier. She knows I will go the extra mile with her when it is needed in my usual work and I know she has my back in this situation. And I can also see her influence in the way other people are operating within the organisation as well.
Jesus doesn't just offer us a set of rules, or a dry way of doing life. He brings relationship, connection, and a perspective on life that makes my heart come alive in a way that nothing else does. In some ways, he is like my manager. He knows me, he is connected, and he loves me (I am not really saying my manager loves me - but she does look out for my best interests). His guidance is not overpowering, but just there when I need it most, and my prayers are often answered in sweet ways. My heart doesn't fear what lies ahead, He is a God who does absolutely provide (I will just say Amen in faith to that), and I am covered.
John 14:6
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 6: 32-33, 35
Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”
Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."
John 10:10, 14-15
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.
5 years ago, I was entering my second year of a school of Christian ministry. Looking back, that year was possibly the best year of my life. It was a life lived in a Christian 'bubble' with some other, truly inspiring people and I found a freedom of loving others and stepping out in ministry in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible a few years earlier. It was so much fun, and my heart truly became alive. I invested in the lives of some of the younger ones - offering car rides where needed and encouraging others, and I picked up a paint brush for the first time in forever and discovered the fun and playfulness of prophetic art. I also managed to travel on a few ministry trips, that opened my eyes to new possibilities in prophetic and prayer ministry.
I spoke yesterday with my friend in the USA, Elizabeth - who I met at this school, just yesterday and we were reminiscing on that year, and on a few of our adventures in the States and in Australia since. Our conversation went from being kind of flat as we didn't have too much to share in regards to our current lives, to coming alive and encouraging and animated as we remembered that extraordinary year that we shared. It moved from reminiscing to prophesying over each other and we both know we are blessed. Blessed in our friendship and is what we share from that time and place 5 years ago. It is from this place, I know I will have the courage to step out into new things in the coming years - things I wouldn't have dreamed of otherwise. Although we each have felt the heaviness and pain of life in different ways in the past, we can lift up our eyes to a glorious hope and promise of greater things. Jesus does indeed bring life, and hope and grace. In relationship with him, all things become new.
Revelation 21: 3-7 TPT
And I heard a thunderous voice from the throne, saying:
“Look! God’s tabernacle is with human beings. And from now on he will tabernacle with them as their God. Now God himself will have his home with them— ‘God-with-them’ will be their God! He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and eliminate death entirely. No one will mourn or weep any longer. The pain of wounds will no longer exist, for the old order has ceased.”
And God-Enthroned spoke to me and said, “Consider this! I am making everything to be new and fresh. Write down at once all that I have told you, because each word is trustworthy and dependable.”Then he said to me, “It has been accomplished! For I am the Aleph and the Tav, the beginning and the end. I will give water to all who are thirsty. As my gracious gift, they will continuously drink from the fountain of living water. The conquering ones will inherit these gifts from me. I will continue to be their God and they will continue being children for me.
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